Reflections

I’ve been given a lot of shellacking with the recent “How to date a Thai Woman” article so I thought I would even up the odds and write my appraisal of the group that I tried to satirize and who view Thai women in such a light, namely Thai ‘Hi-So’ men.

Unfortunately unlike my appraisal of Thai Women, I cannot really find any fault with this demographic. In fact upon further investigation I slowly begin to wish that I did not grow up abroad so I too can be as cool as them.

I want to drive with abandon and without traffic laws, and spend more money on my car than my house. You see its ok to hit and possibly kill passing pedestrians if I were a young Thai ‘Hi-So’ because daddy can just get me to plead temporary insanity and get his friend the judge to let me off or simply pay off relatives of the deceased more than what they’ll make in a lifetime thanks to Thailand’s super awesome wealth/income disparity.

Don’t get me started on how awesome I could dress if I were one of those guys. Don’t criticize, come on, give me one good reason why I wouldn’t want to walk around Siam Paragon with dark woman sunglasses, it shows that one is in touch with one’s feminine side. As for the rolled up trousers, reed loafers, well clearly that’s just good taste. It almost makes up for the fact that I cannot grow facial hair, but I wouldn’t need to because looking and acting like a 12-year-old girl is apparently in trend. Forget maturity, who needs to grow up and get a job when I can just inherit the family business.

This leads me to my next point, if I were one of those guys I wouldn’t have any qualms about Manchester United; after all, bandwagon jumping and easy success is the stalwart and hallmark of Thai hi-so-ness. Its also the end product of living in a society where wealth and influence is respected no matter how it is earned.

Speaking of which, if I were a hi-so Thai guy then I wouldn’t have to care about politics and politicians or the future of my country; of course I would feign knowledge for conversations with the opposite sex, but it’s usually limited to arguments like, “I like him because he’s well educated” and “I hate corruption.”

You see education is important (face value = everything!) in this social group unless ofcourse you happen to be going somewhere where there are no Thai people then it sucks because no one would recognize your right to privilege. The only safe place to go then really is London where I can associate with hundreds of other culturally aware Thai males who immerse themselves in the local culture of Thai Karaoke joints and bars.

And don’t get me started on dating women. It’s a good thing I am Thai because I am looking for a 23 year old with a 12 year old’s body and since I live in a country where the regular dress size is 3, its not really an issue. All in all, like Jay Z (the musician of choice) once said, “It feels good to be a gangsta!” (of which they are not unless of course you’re the son of a mob boss)